When Unohana's Away
by Kuu-sama
Summary: Starring the seated members of the 11th division. Rating due to Yumichika harm, but no actual Yumichikas were hurt in the making of this fic. NOT a bashing fic. Bashing is mean.


I'm back! With a newly installed Microsoft Word! Hope you enjoy the fic. It's been re-written from my notebook and is around a month old. : I've missed you, Microsoft Word. kiss : So on with the show!

Disclaimer: **I do not claim to own Bleach or any of its characters.**

No Yumichika's were harmed in the making of this fic.

* * *

Madarame Ikkaku looked at the 5th seat of his division in disgust. 

"It's just a cut, Crybaby."

Yumichika sniffled and held his injured arm. His sad position on the floor and matching pout made a pitiful sight.

Ikkaku sighed.

"You never reacted like this when we sparred before. I even put ointment on it."

Ikkaku poked Yumichika's arm with his zanpaku-to for emphasis.

Yumichika scuttled away, "It'll SCARRR!" He whined.

Ikkaku sweatdropped.

"I won't be as beautiful as…"

Ikkaku, not listening anymore, decided to go and find someone from the 4th division while Yumichika rambled on.

Yumichika didn't notice his absence.

"That means I'll have to fix up my other eye! Maybe create a while new look! A tattoo, maybe? To hide my—

"Oi, Yumichika?" Ikkaku came back.

"What!"

"Where is the 4th division squad that's stationed here?"

"Eh?"

"I looked in the all the normal rooms…"

"THEY AREN'T HERE?"

Yumichika clutched his wound, causing it to re-open and making blood spurt out.

"AH!"

"Yumichika!"

"Yo!"

"Captain?"

"Yahoo!"

"Vice-captain?"

"What's up Cue-ball?"

"How many times have I told you—

"AHEM!"

Kenpachi, Yachiru, and Ikkaku looked at their forgotten (and now very irritated) 5th seat.

Kenpachi cleared his throat. "What happened here, Madarame?"

"Yumichika got wounded in a fight, Captain, and I can't find anyone from the 4th division."

Kenpachi nodded. "Yeah. They all took the day off."

"Oh...NANI?"

"Unohana said something about a much-needed vacation…"

Ikkaku and Yumichika sweatdropped.

Then Yachiru poked Yumichika's injured arm.

"ITAI! …Vice-captain!"

"Hmmm?"

**poke**

"My arm!"

"What about it?"

**poke**

"Stop poking it!"

"Like _this_...?"

**poke**

"Vice-captain!"

Ikkaku sweatdropped and Kenpachi looked on apathetically.

"Hey, hey, Yachiru…"

Hearing her Ken-chan's voice, Yachiru stopped antagonizing Yumichika and returned to her captain's side. Kenpachi knelt by Yumichika and inspected the injured arm.

Yumichika whimpered. "It'll scar…"

"Scars are manly." Kenpachi stated.

"Manly!" Echoed Yachiru. "Look at Ken-chan!"

Yumichika looked at Kenpachi. The spikes of his hair, the bells, the scars, and tried not to grimace.

Kenpachi ignored this. "Well, anyway," he grunted, "I can fix this."

"Really captain!" Yumichika all but squealed. Ikkaku looked at his captain with awe. _Really, _Ikkaku pondered,_ who would have pegged Captain Zaraki to know healing arts? _

"Of course," Kenpachi said. "Now lay down."

Ignoring the dirty ground, Yumichika complied. _Better than scarring._ He thought.

"Madarame, hold him down."

"EH?"

Albeit confused, Ikkaku held Yumichika down.

"Make sure he doesn't thrash."

Ikkaku and Yumichika blinked.

"Just let me heat the metal of my zanpaku-to and we'll close this wound the old-fashioned way."

Yachiru created a fireball as Kenpachi spoke.

"NANI?" Yumichika screamed.

Ikkaku just stared in shock.

"Oh, sorry."

Yumichika sighed in relief. Ikkaku started to chuckle.

"Good one, Captain..."

"Now that I think about it...Yachiru! Get Arisegawa something to bite on!"

"HAI, KEN-CHAN!"

"CAPTAIN!" But Ikkaku's and Yumichika's cries were ignored.

"Here, Ken-chan!"

"Good, Yachiru!"

Yumichika tried again. "CAP—

"Bite on to this!" Kenpachi shoved a white scarf into Yumichika's mouth.

"MMMFFFNNN!"

"I SAID to keep him from thrashing, Madarame!"

"…Captain…"

"What's with all this 'Captain' stuff? Yachiru! Hold his legs!"

"HAI!"

"And YOU!" Kenpachi glared at his struggling 5th seat. "Stop moving! This is just as good as you'd get from Unohana!"

"AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"I told you to BITE on it!"

* * *

On a beach outside the Seiritei, Isane placed her tea down and looked at her captain. "Captain? Did you hear something just now?" 

Unohana smiled softly, and grabbed a stick of dango off a nearby tray.

"No, not at all…"

Meanwhile, in the Kuchiki estate, a maid trembled as she informed Byakuya-sama that his scarf was missing from the clothesline...

* * *

Dango- little mochi (rice dumplings filled with bean paste,_ anko_, or other sweet things) skewered on a little stick. Yummy. 

A/N: waves a "Unohana OWNS!" flag. Hope you liked the fic. I'm rechecking for grammar and spelling errors, so I hope there aren't any. I wanted to use "Taichou" and "Fukutaichou" but "Captain Zaraki" sounds…better? Or more commanding to me… "Unohana-taichou" fits her though, but I had to stick with one… Meh. But I do hope you enjoyed reading this.

(About the current storyline: I miss Rukia! Where is Rukia! If she doesn't appear by chapter 200 or I'll cry… But I'm liking seeing that Akon guy again…)


End file.
